Are we nearly there yet? Book review and giveaway

The term 'Laugh out Loud' is oft overused these days.  It's lost it's meaning.  But in the true sense of the expression, it can be applied to Ben Hatch's book by the bucket-load.

Not only did I laugh, but I laughed til there were tears rolling down my face. Til my sides were aching. Til my other half poked his head round the door and asked "what's going on?".

Are we nearly there yet tells of the journey of Ben, his wife and their two pre-school children, who embark on an epic round Britain trip reviewing child-friendly visitor attractions for a guide book.  There are moments of madness, where I've secretly planned a similar kind of last yahoo before Ruby starts school.  However, one short trip in the car to the supermarket usually brings me back to my senses.

Apart from the obvious hilarity, I warmed to this book instantly because the family were so familiar.  Phoebe is exactly the same age as my own daughter, and has much the same personality.  As the grown ups, Ben and his wife clearly love each other deeply (you'd have to to be with someone 24/7 for 6 months).  The relationship between Ben and his wife Dinah is clearly one of a couple who fit like a comfy worn in pair of slippers.  I mean that in the nicest possible way.  They share a history, they know what each other is thinking, they are capable of insane arguments about the most meaningless issues, and their not averse to a bit of good old-fashioned affectionate name calling - just like me and the old man.

For a male author (sweeping generalisation alert) I was quite un-nerved by Ben's insightful writing about his wife.  After a disagreement and a bit of sulking, he reflects how Dinah does that barely noticeable slightly slower walk to make it look like he's storming off.  How she lowers her voice ever so slightly to make it appear that he's the one shouting.  Hell, I didn't even realise I did that, but I do!

As well as the car journey, Ben embarks on an emotional voyage.  His father falls ill at the beginning of the trip and this leads to a battle of emotions - pride; resentment; rebellion; admiration; love; and regret.  The descriptions of his father on his sick bed moved me to tears as much as the comic scenes.

There are so many passages I could recount for you, but I don't want to spoil the read.  If you've got young kids, had young kids or know young kids, this is a must read.  Seek it out.  Its available on Kindle too at only 99p currently.

I have one paperback copy to give away so read on.

Ben is a big fan of Twitter, so it's great to be able to chat to him there.  After reading this book I feel like I know him.  There's certainly much 'sharing' going on in the novel and i feel as though I know him a little too well.  He was also kind enough to give me an interview...

It was clearly a massive leap of faith to pack up your home and leave your friends and extended family behind for 6 months.  What were you most nervous about before setting off?

Ben: The kids were 3 and 1. Charlie was in nappies, still having formula and we’d set ourselves this incredibly ambitious target of visiting almost 1000 family-friendly attractions. We’d have to stay in a different hotel almost every night and we were visiting every single town and city in the country. To be honest if I’d known we’d be driving 8,000 miles we’d never have gone. Neither my wife nor I slept the night before. I’d have been less scared if we’d going on an Apollo mission. It was also the fact we’d rented out the house. If we hadn’t done that I’m sure we’d have given up. My brother predicted that either my wife or I would come home chopped up in a bin-bag in the roof-box. We did have arguments along the way. We even managed a big one about which type of owl was best – tawny or barn. But I think I was most worried the kids would hate it. But they didn’t. To them it was a great adventure.

I'm often guilty of over-sharing on Twitter and my blog. Hilarious as it was, do you think the toothbrush incident was a step too far? Is nothing sacred?

Ben: It was not in the original manuscript actually. I only included it at the last moment during the rushed editing process. I think if I had included at the outset it would have cut. I knew it was massively embarrassing but I thought it was funny as well, so I included it. For some people it’s a bridge too far on taste grounds. For others it’s their favourite sequence of the book. I don’t have a problem with writing about it because in my mind I have a sort of switch that I flick when I write something compromising. The switch means I can tell myself I didn’t really say that and that nobody really read that. I’m pressing it right now as I’m talking to you. This isn’t happening. We aren’t talking about this. I have no idea what toothbrush you’re not talking about. He stuck it where?.....

Do you think Phoebe and Charlie absorbed any of the history, science and geography of Britain on the trip, or did they learn other life lessons?

Ben: They learned nothing at all as far as I can tell. We imagined before we set off they’d come back so steeped in culture that one of them would probably end up the chairman of the Arts Council or something. We held that viewed up until the night when Phoebe wet herself in the Shakespeare Birthplace Museum, the same day and I lost the key to the roof-box containing Charlie’s nappy changing stuff meaning we had to change him on a bench in the rain outside Anne Hathaway’s cottage using 3 KFC Lemonfresh wipes. If they learnt anything though it was to be good friends with each other. They spent all that time with each other and as a result came to rely on each other’s company. They’re very, very close now. Much closer than other siblings we know with children the same age.

How did the kids settle in back once you got back home?

Ben: Well they don’t like driving much. They hate all long trips. Our daughter has also unexpectedly, or perhaps as defensive measure against future trips, developed car sickness. She vomits now during any journey over 20 miles on any non-straight road. We’ll probably hear about the other affects through their therapists in 20 years time.

I can't wait to catch up on what you've all been up to.  When's the next book out?

Ben: I am in the process of writing it now. Not sure when it’ll be out. But thanks for asking. Next year, I hope. It’s set in France. I need a good title. Any ideas anyone?

You're clearly a big fan of Twitter.  What benefits does it bring you as an author?

Ben: It’s a fantastic tool for authors, I think, because it allows you direct access to your readers. Normally authors meet readers at book signings. That’s a slightly intimidating atmosphere where the author sits at a table in a bookshop and signs. It’s a little hierarchical. You’re sort of setting yourself apart just by being there with your pen poised. On twitter everyone’s equal. People are much more free with their thoughts. There’s no barrier. My favourite book growing up was Catcher in the Rye. In it the main character Holden Caulfied,l a hero of mine as kid, rues the fact that he can’t call up say F Scott Fitzgerald, I think it is, and tell him what great book he’s written. Now you can do that on twitter. Holden Caulfield would definitively have been on twitter.

Finally, I have to ask.  Is your wife really that scared of those creatures that shall remain nameless?

Ben: She is indeed. If anything, as every year goes by she is worse. The other day I was going to follow back someone on twitter. Their twitpic was of three tortoises. Dinah wouldn’t let me follow them back in case she looked over my shoulder and saw the picture. I tried to explain to the person why I couldn’t follow them back. They didn’t understand. The person thought I was crazy and blocked me. Cheloniaphobia. Fear of all tortoises and things that like tortoises ie turtles. If we go anywhere risky – zoos, safari parks, butterfly farms are particular bad – I have to guide her through enclosures while she holds a brochure up to the side of her face I’ve earmarked as the “tortoisey one.” The kids all know about it and warn her if ever they see one. “Mum, close your eyes. My hold out your hand.” I blame my wife for all the strange fears my kids have. My daughter was scared of the moon and steam for a long time and my son until recently was scared of all manikins particularly, for some reason, Victorian ones. He would fasten himself to my leg like a shin-pad whenever he saw one.

Massive thanks to Ben for taking the time to answer my questions, but mostly for writing such a fantastic book.  


EDIT: This competition is now closed and the winner has been notified.


If you'd like to win a copy of the book, simply leave a comment below saying why you'd like to read it.  For an additional entry please tweet "I'm entering @missielizzieb's blog competition to win a copy of Ben Hatch's Are we Nearly There Yet http://bit.ly/wLt65E".  Please leave an additional comment to say you've tweeted and remember to leave a method of contact.

The winner will be chosen at random after 5pm on 06 February 2012.

This is not a sponsored post, all views expressed are my own and the prize is supplied by myself.